9.

Kanye WEST ladies and gentlemen! Kanye WEST, well, what can I say about Kanye WEST. West of center is what

8.

Don't even get me started on that Miley Cyrus. I'll tell ya one thing, I try to be mileys away from wherever her music is playing!

7.

My god MUSIC, or should I say MUZAK? When are people going to stop with slang words? It's fucking music for christ sake!

6.

Everybody's so goddamn sensitive these days! When I was a young man misogyny was something you snorted with Jimmy McNeil after a 28 hour game of poker, eesh!

5.

What happened to the 90s? When you could ride the tram into town, buy a pink Floyd LP, get a malt watch the latest action film and still have change from a dollar!

4.

I mean hip hop, pull up your trousers! You got these kids with their YOLOs and their twerking and their buzzfeeds. In my day drugs had proper names!

3.

And have you seen the internet?!?! You got people over here sayin' one thing and you got people over there sayin' another! I'm like "guys if I wanted to hear this much pointless yappin I'd go home and talk to my wife!"

2.

What is the DEAL with this jukebox, I mean I haven't seen this much anger since Micheal Jordan's bahmitzvah!

1,

And what is the DEAL with this airplane food, you're in the sky and you're being offered a hot meal.